| something wicked this way comes. |
[Mar. 15th, 2010|11:01 pm] |
| [ | Im at |
| | home | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | I hear |
| | my kittys | ] |
so i decided to start using this again because i feel like i can get things figured out more clearly. i doubt anyone will read this since i posted that i wasnt using it anymore. but livejournal has always been a friend to me and blogspot isnt the same. i went back and read a bunch of old entrys and it made me realize how much growing up ive done lately. i seriously dislike it. i miss when things used to be so simple. i didnt have to worry about bills or money. just having fun with my friends. my life is so crazy now. i officially dont take care of brittany anymore and i feel like all my time and effort on that was wasted. im training for a premotion soon and that job is going to take up sooo much time. i miss so many of my old friends. i cant wait till camp opens. im gunna be going out there so much this year. well this is a quick update for now. im going to try and keep up with this even if only one person ever reads it.... nick. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2009|11:06 am] |
"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean"
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| its just you and me... |
[Jul. 30th, 2009|09:15 am] |
so things are going much better for me and matthew. weve talked alot over the past few days and we both are working on the things we know have sort of fallen short in this relationship. I want to make it work, i really do. i love him. hes good for me, he takes care of me. sometimes he can be a little controlling but he saw the mess I was before i was with him and he doesnt want to see it happen again. i get it. its definetly getting better. hm what else, oh i really wish me and amanda could be the friends we used to be. i know itll prolly never go back to the way it was but i miss it so much. i found a whole bunch of old pictures and it just made me remember how happy i was. i know its mostly my fault, i stopped going to camp and whatever but im hoping maybe some of our friendship can come back. im going to try going to camp more. i missed it. im actually going tomorrow i think. i loooove how much time i spend with krystle. even though its still not enough but i love hanging out and talking to her again. we were best friends for sooo long and went through so much with eachother and it sucks we lost quite a few years but i dotn want that to happen again. im also pretty excited for dougs wedding. i cant beleive dougs getting married. i was shocked i was invited but im glad because ide love to see him. i think meaghan will be my date haha. Matthew doesnt really know anyone and he gets uncomfy in those situations. and ij ust realized i always get confused spelling uncomfertable ? no clue lol i miss megs shes on vacation for 2 whole weeks and im going crazy without her lol. theres just so much drama with certain people that I just cant deal anymore. im sick of people lieing to me, hiding things, ditching me, but all it takes is someone to do it once and i know their not a true friend. which is fine cuz i already have plenty of those :-) |
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| i wish i could go back 4 years or so... |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|01:51 pm] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  crushed | ] |
im sick of being hurt. im sick of feeling like i mean nothing to the one person who means more to me then anyone else. im sick of feeling like all my feelings are wrong. that im happy when i shouldnt be or sad when i should be happy. matthews hurt me more in the past few months then all my other bfs put together. he makes me feel like ill never be good enough, ive never let anyone get to me like that. ive never let anyone make me feel the way he does. he gets under my skin. no he hasnt cheated on me, he doesnt have time to. but today i told him how someones words hurt my feelings and ya know what? he made it out to be my fault. everythings always my fault. hes perfect, he never does anything wrong. he never says hes sorry, even when he hurts me, im the one saying sorry. its always about him, what he wants, what he thinks is right. i just dont know how much of a heart i have left because he keeps breaking it. i feel weak and ashamed i let him get to me like this.... i just dont know what to do. |
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| hit the ignore button. |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|03:55 pm] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | I hear |
| | creepy music | ] |
i cant beleive how little i write in this now compared to 2007. if you go back and look at the calenders, i wrote once sometimes three times a day in 2007. the only year i did that. its weird... anywho ive been so stressed lately. with work and taking care of britt. its alot harder then i thought. i really cant handle it. i have no help from anyone. i love her living there and i want to keep her there but i cant if she doesnt get a job. i cant afford it on my own. grrrr. i dont know what to do anymore. i am excited to get away this weekend and go to waterfest. i catn beleive i went a whole year ago. im excited because i know everyone alot more this year. should be alot of fun. plus were rooming with johnny and leah. ive been up here in andover for the past two days and i dont miss it one bit. i haaaate the drive. it sucks. like tonight im working until 6 so i wont get home until 7. blows. i wish i could go to camp this weekend. milena and a bunch of them are going for the weekend. they didnt even know it was my campground but it should be interesting. i love how me and krystle have been hanging out so much. shes pretty much my fav. person in the world and i missed her so much. i cant beleive sam just had twin boys. carden and landon. i like the names. its so weird that all my friends have babies. my cousins too. i feel like everyones either getting married, having babies or both. i am sooo not ready for that. not for a long time. britts hard enough to take care of and shes 17 lol. i cant wait until she turns 18. september. were also going to see rascal flatts for her bday. its gunna be so awesome. ok well thats enough for now. maybe ill try to keep up with my updates. aparently my life used to be much more exciting so i could write every day lol. |
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| you know im not a fool. |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|10:47 am] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| | like a Ninja | ] |
so figure ide do a little update since i havent in 2 weeks. My birthday has come and gone and it was great. Johnny and Matthew got me a grill and matthew bought me a kindle. I cried when i got my kindle. ive wanted one for so long. hes so good to me. completely spoils me and i love him so much. tonights joes bday and bill just got a job at mcfaddens so were going there to celebrate. me megs and the boys of course. we wouldnt have it any other way. havent been to camp in a while cuz ive been soooo busy but ill prolly go next weekend. hmm seen alot of people i went to school with the other night, interesting. some havent changed and are exactly the same. hmm what else, 2 wks till my vaca with johnny, leah and matthew. 5 days in oob and the boys are leaving sunday and megs and britt are coming up for the night to have a girls night. cant wait!. life is just going great all around. |
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| quick update. |
[May. 29th, 2009|02:37 pm] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | I hear |
| | K.O.L- i want you | ] |
so things have just been crazy lately. ive been going out to camp and its been surprisingly fun. me and bethany are civil now, the past is behind us. im over it and so is she. its good. no more drama. i missed going out there. i loove ashley, markys g/f. she is just the shit. we hung out alot lately and amanda and rob got engaged. i do miss the way it used to be with us though. things are def. different. i got to see dan and mary, that was interesting lol and went surprisingly well. i think i may have scared her when i hugged her but hey i was buzzed and having a good night. things in life are just great. i have amazing friends. matthew and me are doing alot better. he shaved all his hair off and he looks soooo hott. lol. went to nicks and hung out with him and kaleb, who is by far the cutest baby ever. lol even though i say that about everyones baby. but hes sooo funny, he just stares at me and smiles and makes noises. hes adorable. my birthdays next weekend so thats exciting too. not sure what im doing but prolly just a party at the house. ill prolly go to camp friday night. who knows. i have to split my time between my home friends and camp friends cuz i love hanging out with them all but i didnt realize how much i missed everyone at camp until now. things just have a way of unfolding themselves. i love it oh and ps i love love love my new job in southborough, well same company but new job. amazing. |
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| i dont care what you think, just as long as its about me. |
[May. 14th, 2009|02:55 pm] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | I hear |
| | people talking | ] |
i am sooo excited. this summer is going to be totally amazing. im going to old orchard for the week with johnny leah and matthew in june, then new jersey for waterfest in july, then ocea city maryland for H2Oi in september. so thats three vacations. not to mention the numerous concerts im going to. live and candelbox with my dad, toby keith and trace adkins with leah and warped tour with matthew and britt. this summer is gunna be so fun, im sooo effing excited. and thats just what i have planned now, i have to include some serious meggo time in there so who knows what they will entail! ugh life is wonderful. and im working in southborugh so im out early and home by 530. things are just going soooo well. but on another note...
people need to grow up.
i know you read this, i know you creep my facebook and myspace.
GET OVER IT.
that is all :-)
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| i wont cross this street until you hold my hand. |
[May. 5th, 2009|11:19 am] |
| [ | Im at |
| | work | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | I hear |
| | rise against- swing life away | ] |
so i deleted my last entry, i just needed to vent, no need to keep a remember of a crappy day because someone doesnt know when to quit. if you text me over and over again and i dont answer, dont text me. give it up. it gets annoying, i tried to be friends... obviously its too difficult. anyways. me and matthew are good now, we've had some tough times and weve both made mistakes but i do love him and want to be with him, its just going to take some work. but we can do it. i need to visit nick and tracy again, my cell phone chargers been there for like a month. i may go to camp memorial day weekend, i would go this weekend but i have to work sat. morning and britts prom is saturday night. shes going to look so fantastic, her dress, shoes everything is just perfect. i cant wait. ugh what else, oh i wish people wouldnt give opinions on things they know nothing about. also i wish people wouldnt be so dramatic, and make assumptions as well. nothing in particular just random things ive noticed lately. why do people care so much about other people? i dont get it... anyways, i think communication is key. talk to people, if your mad at someone tell them about it. tell people how you feel! and if you think someones mad at you ask them to talk about it, and also dont get mad by what they say. if your going to ask a question and want an honest answer dont get mad if its something you dont wanna hear. im ranting again, i guess its just things i notice, plus in ever write in her much so when i do its like a combination of a ton of shit. im a lil upset that i dont get to go work back down in sboro. one of the girls here quit so im stuck up in andover with a rediculous schedual that changes every day. i hate it. like tonight im working till 830-9 that means i wont get home till like 10. it blows. this hour commute is killing me, and my car. i cant belelive how many miles ive put on it so far. its insane. ive put like 30,000 miles on it since ive had it, like in a yr! i haaate it. on a good note i think shauna might have her baby soon. maybe today. i hope so i cant wait to see her. Autumn Lynn will be her name and im so happy shauna made it past all the complications and made it almost to her due date, shes got like 10 days to go. its amazing. oh and im sooo excited to go see candlebox and live with my dad for my brithday, which is in a month btw. no idea what im doing but hopefully itll be great. last yr was ok but i missed alot of my friends being there. hmmm i think that might be all. |
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| this was entertaining |
[Apr. 9th, 2009|04:56 pm] |
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My Ten Names:
1. Your Real Name : Brandie Lee Long
2. Your Gangsta Name: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle) -Braizzle
3. Your Detective Name: (favorite color and favorite animal) - Green Penguin
4. Your Soap Opera Name: (your middle name & street you live on) - Lee Sword
5. Your Star Wars Name: (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)- Bra Lo haha
6. Your Criminal Name: (your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink) Blue Mojito
7. Your Witness Protection Name: (parent's middle names) Ann Anthony
8. Your Goth Name: (black, and the name of one of your pets) Black Ninja, hahahah
9. Your Hood Name: (first 3 letters of your first name and add -iqua) Braiqua
10. Your Stripper Name: (Name of one your first pets & your mother's maiden name) Pookie Grady
some of these are quite hilarious.
i get way to bored at work. |
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